The Power of Acceptance — Part 2

Annoying Friends

Acceptance is necessary for growth. In this second episode, I will tell you another story and reflect on a vital aspect of acceptance for spiritual growth.

“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs 12.

Part 2. Accepting Annoying People

I have an annoying friend — more than one, actually. They are friends because they genuinely care for me. However, they are annoying because they think differently to me. Why is the fact that they think differently annoying? Because they challenge my assumptions, they cause me to re-examine long-cherished beliefs and open my mind to the possibility of change. Why is change problematic? Because change is disturbing, and often, in my experience, takes quite a lot of hard work. Let me give you an example.

Recently, I discussed a historical situation with one of my (annoying) friends. The context was a controversial leadership decision that affected and involved both of us. I had assumed he saw things the same way I did. However, he pointed out some aspects of the situation I was unaware of. What he shared saddened and shocked me.

Although hearing his perspective was painful (quite annoying, actually), it was vital. Vital because I was then able to accept his experience (different to mine) as valid. My better understanding of the situation allowed me to empathise with his pain over the decisions made. Accepting his point of view deepened our friendship and gave me a better idea of how to heal the situation.

The upshot of accepting my annoying friend’s annoying perspective was that I felt compelled to pray about his revelations and then take some action. It was inconvenient and challenging emotionally and spiritually, not only for potentially resolving the situation but also so that I could understand better what God was doing. And what was God doing?

Part of what he was up to was helping me develop greater respect for other people, their perspectives, and, I hope, deeper humility — recognising that my understanding is always only partial. Hopefully, this will create a greater sense of curiosity in me — a curiosity that helps me understand other people better and God’s work amongst them and myself.

Do you have some annoying friends? You need them. Not only do you need them, but you need to accept them.

Next time, we will discuss how accepting circumstances helps us grow.

Your brother, Malcolm